Vanishing Lessons

by Tourniquet

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credits

released July 1, 1994

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Track Name: Bearing Gruesome Cargo
This is why I am the way that I am
This is why I am the way that I am
This is why I am the way that I am
This is why I am the way that I am

You know I'm carrying with me
Over twenty years of pity
My whole personality
Was formed by others, not me
When I look back on my life
One that's always filled with strife
I rode down a bad course
Nobody's fault but yours

My step always threw me right down the stairs
So forgive me when I do the same thing to you
I know it must seem like your daddy never cares
But if you knew what I've been through
You'd do the same thing too

Well I can't make a move
Without draggin' all my baggage
My father always cussed
So forgive me for my language
Please excuse me for yelling
Pardom me for telling you to stop
Selling to me your God in Heaven

This is why I am the way that I am
This is why I am the way that I am
If I can keep this up for the rest of my days
I may never have to take responsibility
For my ways

Exodus 5:16
Track Name: Pecking Order
Sleight of hand, slight of mind
Slam the door, leave the key inside
With a quick and knowing stare
Like a contest at the fair
You're the winner, you're the loser
You're the chosen, I'm the chooser

Too fat, too poor, too black, too pure
Too white, too foreign, too smart, too boring

Hen-pecked hypocrite, myself included
Fails to see, my thoughts diluted
With our judgement, and mind polluted
Comes prevention, from seeing who God created
Politics of the mind, feeds the ego of the blind
Who made you the judge of me
Turn away, just let me be
The notion that we're better than them
The ultimate delusional gem
The notion that we're better than them
The ultimate delusional gem

Too fat, too poor, too black, too pure
Too white, too foreign, too smart, too boring

Too fat, too poor, too black, too pure
Too white, too foreign, too smart, too boring

Ninety-three million miles
From the earth, the granite boils
Half the heat, half the burn
Scorches those who never learn
Look to Him and you will see
The only judge for you and me
Grace and mercy from His throne
Imparts to those He calls His own
Grace and mercy from His throne
Imparts to those He calls His own

Philippians 2:3
Track Name: Drowning Machine
The water is fast, but it ain't deep
I waded out before
I could do it in my sleep
Another line, another fix
Another "I don't care"
The place you thought you'd never be
Guess what, you're there

Drowning machine
Drowning machine

Sow a thought, reap an action
Sow an action, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a destiny
Do anything, be anyone
But you're not free

Drowning machine
Drowning machine

A three foot river drop
A circular hell
Drowing machine is
Ringing the death bell
Your lifeless soul floats to the shore
You couldn't stop
Had to have more, more, more

Drowning machine
Drowning machine
Drowning machine
Tragic death scene

2 Peter 2:20
Track Name: Pushin' Broom
Fall has come again
Bringing the leaves to the ground
Another year's gone away
Nothing's changed in this town
Far may it be from you
To live someone else's dream
Though your aspirations soar
Just thank the Lord once more

So many times we believe
That our lives will go to waste
Unless we strive to achieve
So many things out of haste
Sometimes we run too fast
When God is asking us to crawl
He who is faithful minding less
Shall be given to rule over all

Does it feel like every time you're alone
A voice begins to speak
"There's so much more to life"
You'll hear, but you know you're where
God wants you to be
Do you dream your name in lights way up high
For all to see, could it be that faithful to
What you've got is what you first must be

Fall has come again
Bringing the leaves to the ground
Another year's gone away
You plan to leave that boring town
Far may it be from you
To leave your dreams because of fear
At least you're not afraid
To push a broom another year

1 Corinthians 7:24
Track Name: Vanishing Lessons
Silently vanishing, then reappearing
Slipping away for a while
Start dematerializing before your eyes
Always a step from our grasp

At the turn of the century
Lived a Mr. Houdini
Shrouded in a mystery
He fooled all humanity
Why is it a mystery
The very thing that seems to me
Explains itself so easily
The love of wealth brings misery

Things we acquire means fuel for the fire
The feeling is gone, then our soul we will pawn
Things we acquire means fuel for the fire
The feeling is gone, then our soul we will pawn

Chinese water torture cell
And metamorphosis
Jail escapes, buried alive
Walking through a solid wall

Suicide among the rich
Defies the laws of reason which
Tells us those who have it all
Must often answer to death's call

Things we acquire means fuel for the fire
The feeling is gone, then our soul we will pawn
Dollars for happiness, that's what the world tells us
Pour all yourself in the pursuit of wealth

Things we acquire means fuel for the fire
The feeling is gone, then our soul we will pawn
Dollars for happiness, that's what the world tells us
Pour all yourself in the pursuit of wealth

"There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless
which cannot be touched without emotion. Even with the
utterly lost to whom life and death are equally jests,
there are matters of which no jest can be made."
(Quote from "The Masque Of The Red Death" by Edgar Allan Poe)

Ever since I was a boy
I have always kept your laws
Now I want to follow you
Join you in your noble cause
Jesus turned to him and said
Sell all you have, give to the poor
The rich young ruler hung his head
Not to follow, walked instead

Ecclesiastes 5:10
Track Name: My Promise
Just a boy, you will not remember half
The things you're going through right now
How can I explain to you things don't
Always go the way you want them to
I know you feel confused

Your mother never wanted this for you
She did her best but that he wouldn't do

You and I are brought together now by
Wedding vows, vows that I have also made to you

Flesh and blood though we are not
I will love you as my own
Now God's love is all we've got
Together we can build a home

All I want for you is to remember this
Never will I turn my back on you
This world will lie to you and take you for a ride
How can I protect you from this path
Only God can show you that the lights in life burn fast
Never fosake your precious days of
Youth

I promise I will do my best for you
Listen to me and I will listen too

2 Thessalonians 3:5
Track Name: Acidhead
Johnny is a chemist's son
But Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H20
Was H2SO4

Water cleans the system
Acid eats the flesh
Squirm yourself much deeper
Into the pit of selfishness
The burn of death is what you crave
I'll gladly bow and be your slave
To serve you all the days I live
My chemical god to you I give

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red

Pacify your emptiness
It becomes more, you become less
All the platitudes you need
Planted by the demon seed
Hurting only me not you
To those around, it isn't true
The life you wreck is not your own
He grieves upon His holy throne

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red
Acid head
Acid head - walk like the dead

Walk like the dead
Life in the red
Walk like the dead

Close the book, it's time to die
Don't get up, don't even try
Think about your soul instead
Where will you be when you're dead

Johnny is a chemist's son
But Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H20
Was H2SO4

Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red
Acid head - walk like the dead
Acid head - life in the red

1 Corinthians 6:19
Track Name: K517
Instrumental by Ted Kirkpatrick
Track Name: Twilight
When Father Time begins to run out on you
There's a place we take you to
"Just a burden now," I heard them say
I know I'm just in the way
You watch the car as they drive slowly away
Their guilt will hang on them for just today

All alone you sit, the phone never rings
Each day new sorrow brings
And the holidays, they come and they go
But there's one thing that I know

Even though my family counts me for dead
I never see them anyway
My life to God is not a worthless mistake
He's right there with me in my endless heartache

Can you look away from all this pain
Or do you think it isn't there
Can you look away from all this pain
Say you just don't really care

As we lock our priceless heritage away
Our kin the elderly
Do you know someone who stares at the walls
I think you know what to do

Leviticus 19:32
Track Name: Your Take
I've seen you at the shows
So proud to tell us how it goes
This and that and a little more
Not too much now
You'll lose the floor
When we are not just what you thought
Do not blame, we're not the same

The color grey is real
A shade that you can't feel
Your world of black and white is surreal

The moment we begin to think
Our calling should be heard
Just the same by other ears
That hear the call themselves,
We're deaf to all

No matter what
We're in this world
To live His life
To live His Word

The color grey is real
A shade that you can't feel
Your world of black and white is surreal

Your take on life
Is what you've seen
What you've known
What you dream
The way you live
Is who you are
Unique unto the Morning Star

Matthew 7:1
Track Name: Sola Christus
Not inclined to come to Him
Inability within
Inward call achieves His end
Sovereignly commenced

Sola Gratia
Covenant to covenant
Salvation never changed
Sola Gratia

Quickened of the third person
Regenerate competence
Not my own, this faith a gift
Boasting set adrift

Sola Fide
Credited as righteousness
Looking far ahead
Sola Fide

Pardoned of iniquity
Forgotten, cast into the sea
Righteousness ascribed to me
Christ alone completed He
Sola Christus
Christ alone completed me
Sola Christus

Fulfilled the Father's Holy law
Unblemished lamb redemption brought
Sinless One received the wrath
Justifying filthy men

Isaiah 1:18
Track Name: HHS2 (Handel Harpsichord Suite #2)
Instrumental by Ted Kirkpatrick